I'm going to briefly go over the most glaring shit stain on this game. It was made by Yahtzee in November of 2007, but uses graphics straight out of 1985. When I first learned Yahtzee also developed games, I thought to myself wow, I'm an arrogant prick of English descent... he's an arrogant English prick, it must be some good shit. Anyway, I'm told the games are more about the story and artisticly creative game design, so I'll not make a big deal about that.

So the game starts off in a tutorial where... Fuck it. The graphics suck ass. It's not even up to par with entry level tech school or college game design class. Maybe I'm missing the point. If I had a small dick, I wouldn't go running around running around starting shit with people who have big dicks. Granted, the gaming industry has big dicks, but most of them shoot blanks. But still, if your games suck ass too, then the whole "I can read a script for 3 minutes without stopping" schtick kinda zero's out the whole damn thing. It would be more credible if he didn't write bad games. It's like men exchanging Christmas presents with eachother. Hey, here's a $50 gift certificate for Home Depot.. Great, here's your $50 gift certificate for Loews. Here's my shitty game.. Great, thanks for your shitty game.

So finally, I close my eyes and pretend it's 1985. I make my way from my basement to my car and set out on my life of crime, but not before reading another novel. Hint to game developers: Gamers do not like fucking reading.

Here I am in my first job. The guard at the front desk sees me, so I run up to his ass to taze him. I'm not sure quite what happened, but he sounded the alarm and vanished before I could light his ass up. Maybe he crawled under the desk? Anyway, the alarm sounds but the guards on the other floors just keep walking back and forth. I thought for sure something would happen. Maybe they would come down and kick my ass or something. Instead they just wandered around the halls wondering where they misplaced their donuts.

I played through the game but I really just don't get it. I've never been into the art fag thing, so if its about artistic creativity I've totally missed the boat. If the game is a story, there are more creative ways of telling a story in 2008. One thing that really annoyed me while playing the game was how notifications disappeared. You open up things and a bit of text pops up which you have exaclty 0.5 seconds to figure out what it said.

I'll admit. If it was 1985 this game would have been a best seller for the Commodore 64, turn it into a web based flash game and it would be a great addition to any of the thousands of "FREE FLASH GAME ARCADES" on the web. Unfortunately is 2008 and I just don't see the point.

This game and others from Yahtzee can be downloaded from his website at www.fullyramblomatic.com